Black Christmas

Death of those close
It happens every year
You wish it’s not true
Or that there was something you could do

You think you could have done something
You feel like you could have saved them
You wish that things were different
And that something would have changed

You wish that they could have stayed
But you know that it was there time

You know you feel selfish
But for once you wish you could

Times have changed
People have gone
And they aren’t coming back
You realize that this isn’t some nice little pack

Death of those close
It happens every year
You wish it’s not true
Or that there was something you could do

War Zone

There’s a war up there
there’s a war over there
I’m standing in one right now
They are everywhere

I want to fight back
there are just too many
I don’t know what do to

It seems like it pointless
I’m surrounded
There’s little hope left
I wish there was more

If there was something more
If I could call for help
Call for back up
One less war

I would be able to handle it all
I would be ok
But now I still have to find a way

I have to make it thru
Have to find a way
A way to win just one war

The question is,
Which I want to loss
Just so I can win
That’s the hard part
That I don’t want to start

There’s a war up there
There’s a war over there
I’m standing in one right now
They are everywhere

Times Have Changed & Some People Too

I love you with all my heart
But times have changed
They wont let me near you
I would give anything to change things
My heart has been torn in two
But I just want to be with you

I should have told you from the start
I wish I could have told you first
Cause I know that we wouldn’t part
We have grown closer from everything
I hope that it will stay that way
You are my best friend in the end

What the hell happened to you
That person that I once knew?
You have changed
And its for the worst
Its how you act and what you say
Why have you become this way?

I don’t know what to say
It feels like hot then cold
Every other day
I don’t know what we are
I hope were best friends
But it seem sometimes far

I cant talk to you
Cant tell you anything
I pretty much despise you
Its about what you did
I wish you hadn’t, but you did
Now I cant trust you, like I once did

Im sorry that I hurt you
I wish that I hadn’t
I know it was wrong
The way that it happened
I hope to set it right
To keep it from a fight

I don’t know whats wrong with you
Things are wrong all the time
But no on seemed to commit the crime
I don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to say
Seem its going to suck anyway

You have kept it together
But don’t let them change you
You are on the right track
Don’t stray from the pack
Stay with what you know
And stay true to you

I wish I could tell you all
But I know to some I cant
Hope it will go back
To the way it once was

Wounds Too Deep

It’s still there
Hidden beneath that mask I wear
That deep wound that cut right through

I know it was some time ago
But my heart just can’t let go
I want to forgive and forget
And just get on with this show

You broke my heart
just one too many times
Its still yours forever
Its just wounded for all of time

I want it fixed
Want it gone
The wounds too deep
To be fixed, or bond'

I know you would take it back
All of it you could
But I would take back more
And hope you understood

I don’t want to feel this hurt
Over something in the past
I don’t know why
But my Heart won’t let surpass

So,
It’s still there
Hidden beneath that mask I wear
That deep wound that but right through
And now there’s nothing that you or I can do

Welcome into the Light

I would like to welcome you into the light
even though I am not here myself
I want to show you around

Here is what you have been looking for
Here are your answers

I want you to know what this light is
I want you to stay here,
Even though I am not here

I know the light
But pushed you instead of me
Gave you the light
Even though I need it just as much

I wanted to make sure that you were safe
Wanted to make sure that you were happy
I wanted to give you anything that I could

I knew that I could give you the light
I know that you will be better now
I know that you will be happy now

The question is,
Will I find the light in time?
I know its there,
But it seems out of reach

What will truly make me happy,
After something so great with you?

Will the light be enough,
To fill my aching heart?

I would like to welcome you into the light
even though I am not here myself
I want to show you around

R. B.

If there is ever a tomorrow when we're not together
There is something that you must always remember:

You are braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem,
And smarter than you think...

But the most important thing is, even if we're apart,
I'll always love you.

I will always love you.
<3 R.B.

Why

Why is the question that I have

Why now, after I have asked for help so many times before

Why, when I am Happy truly Happy

Do you have to take it away

Why, when I final get my ever after
Why, when I show my love

It can’t be returned

Why don’t I feel the same way too

Why did you do this to us

Why

Was it really a must

Why when I want nothing else you just take away

Why when I want something you have nothing

Why when I want nothing

You slap me and say “YOU FOOL”

Why

Why what I want most I cant have

Why what I am happy with, isn’t enough

Why does it always seem to be about you

Why cant you let me be happy

Why do you care now

Why have you changed you mind

So now you know

Why is the question the I have

Why now, after I have asked for help so many times before

Why, when I am truly Happy

Do you have to take it all away

The Love has Arrived

It the thing that I wished for everyday
The thing I hoped for in everyway

It finally here
I guess I waited long enough
I thought I was done
And almost gave up

It came out of nowhere
I loved that it did
And now I’m with you
And your mine till the end

Im yours for the taking
To do whatever with you will
To have me and hold me
And I hope always will.

It was the thing I wished for
And it came today.
I hope to hold it forever
And hope it never fades

Second Trust

I got hurt the first time
And now here we go again
I know it won’t work ou
Still I jump right in

I know that you don’t love me
I know what you have tried to do
It hurt and pinned me down
But stupid me, loves you

I have been hurt three times before
Still I seem stupid and blind
I know that it won’t happen
But I want to see more

I feel too needy
And I hate it so
I don’t know why

This is the second go around now
And I hate to love it
I don’t want to get hurt
I know that its only time

This love is a evil cruel mistress
And its got back under my skin
You and I have started up
And the only thing I ask is, when?

I got hurt the first time
Here we go again
I still know it won’t work
Still I jumped right in.

That Kiss

That Kiss
I love it to death
But this might be the last time

I thought that I was done
But that kiss
I just did it again

I thought I could get over it
Then you said
“I think I am falling for you”

As i was again

My heart skipped two beats
And then that kiss
The kiss I put in my memory
Just in case it was our last.

I thought I could just go
That kiss just hung on.
You say you might love me
And the kiss was there.

The Kiss
I love it to death
But it might just be the death of me.

Drowning

It’s the feeling that consumes me
Like trapped under water
The surface seems so far above.
You don’t know if you will make it

The more you fight,
The harder you swim
The deep you seem to sink into the abyss.

Part of you wonders
Is it even worth fighting for?
And the other is wondering
What am I fighting for?

I am tried of trying.
But I know that I cant give up.
So I am reaching towards the surface
Waiting for someone to reach for me

I keep sinking lower and lower into the darkness.
My hope and faith grows weak.
And I still sink down into the cold.
But I wake up everyday
In hope that someone will comes and rescue me.

~mooshka~

Wonderful Awful Dream

So its still there
That dream of mine
The one with you and me
Nothing will let it be

There are some things
I don’t want to see
I just want to be me

I go to bed
Lay my head
Dream of you instead

I then wake
To find it was just a dream
And have to tell myself
“I don’t love you”

I know it’s not true
But it’s what I have to do
It hurts so bad
Sometimes it makes me mad.

But its still there
That dream of mine
The one with you and me
And nothing will let it be

Help me Find a Rock

Help me,
Please, wont you help me?
I only ask for one thing
I need to find a rock

I once had a rock to cling to
But now I have nothing
I am but a pebble in the sea

I was once able to cling
To many rocks
Now I have none

I gave up my rocks
For just one
I thought it was stable
But these rocks never are

Now im floating along
In the mighty ocean
With nothing to cling to
Nothing to weather the storm

All I want is some help now
I just need one thing
I want you to help me
So I can be me again

Help me,
Please wont you help me?
I only ask for one thing
I need to find a rock

Paradise at War

It was my escape
To run and hid away
I want to run to it now
But I know that it is not the same

It was once a place
Far beyond everything else
Nothing could reach me

Nothing screaming
Nothing hurting
Nothing at all

The only sound
The wind whispering
The only sight
The ever setting sun

I could get lost there forever
Forget about the world
And about my home

But now it’s a war zone
Torn in to pieces
People taken sides
The battle waged

Now that paradise
Is slowly being blown away
Like it was never going to stay

I have to go there
To that paradise that I once knew
And face that war
To save the paradise
That has saved me.

Pain Day

This stupid day
It brings pain
In every which way
It comes once every year

Nothing changes
No one to love
No one to share
With no love in the air

Things were fine
I pushed everything out
And then went on
Then you called
Things crashed into the ground

I almost made it
Thru this day
Then that call
I didn’t sit well
But I still let you tell

You talked about him
I didn’t want to listen
But I was there for you
I stood by you
Told you everything would be ok

You still have time
To make things right
So work with it and make it right
Have some will left to fight

You have some one
Someone to love
Someone to hold
Someone to share
That love in the air

When that happens
Remember that YOU are in LOVE
And YOU have TIME
To make everything right
YOU have that SOMEONE

Picture

I saw that picture today
I don’t know why it affected me so
Everything seemed to melt away
The pain came back
The hurt still there
I still don’t know how this came to bare
One minute just there
The next, back in that same black hole
I can’t believe that I fell in there
I hurt the first time; you think I would know better
But I am just a fool
It is now burned into my memory, with not much to do
Now I have to start erasing that picture all over again
The one that I woke up with inside my head
I saw that picture in my head today
Don’t want it to be there any way
So I have to erase it once more
But part of me is still not sure
And I saw that picture again

Mistake of a Slip

(Picture; MISTAKES - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others)

It slipped, it happened
I don’t know why
It just flew right by
And once again it’s something that I can’t unlive

I promised myself that I would go there
Now I feel like I cant breath the air
I have to leave it, and grin and bare

I hate that this could happen
I have this feeling stuck in me.
Nothing will let it be
I don’t want anyone to see.

But it happened once, and people know
It happened twice, and it doesn’t go
If it ever happens again I don’t know if I could say so.

The wounds are still there,
But are too numb to feel any pain in the air
There is nothing left to hurt.
All I have left is my shirt.

Pain doesn’t feel any more.
Things have become a bore.

I just don’t know what to do.
I just hate that I love you.
What else could I do?
I just don’t want to

Things happened and they slipped
Now all the world is tipped
Everything again is ripped

I can’t slip again
I happened twice
Although it was nice
It feels colder than ice

Friends

We were once close friends
Not even seeing the end
Nothing to heal or mend

We both didn’t see this thing
But it hit like a huge bang
And since then nothing has been sane

I jumped into the deep-end without looking twice
I thought that it sounded so nice
But it now feels like I was submerged in ice

I know now that it shouldn’t have been done
But we are now two instead of one
And I have not been having fun
And there seems to be no sun

We try to fix and mend
So things don’t come to an end
And so we can still be friends

Im not sure what will become
And things will end some
But in the end I hope to numb
All this pain that has come

So now we try
And hope not to cry
And to fix and mend
So our friendship does not end.

Patches

A patch here
A stitch there
And im falling apart everywhere

Things are just piece
That once laid in a heap
Now they seem to ceases to exist

Sown together
Patched and glue
Im not sure there is much more to do

I hope they hold
Because im not that bold
As I was once told

Another patch
Another stitch
Hope it will fix it in a pinch

Things hang there
As the string hold them
But really its just the air
That blows right thru them

A patch here
A stitch here
And if everything goes my way
Nothing will fall apart today

Trying to Fill the Hole

Why do I feel like this
I know that your sorry
I know that you hurt and I worry
You were there and told me how it was.

But I still have hurt
I don’t know weather I can go,
Back to that place that I once knew.
It just might be impossible to do

But I will fight the tears
And I will fight the fears
Just to try make it back there again

Part of me wishes that it would have never happen
I want to erase it all and start brand new.
But there is nothing that I can do

I just go on, like nothing is wrong
Because I should have seen it all along
It’s just like a stupid song.

So I want to say
That I’ll try to be better today
Even though I do not know the way
I will try to fight, till the dawn of the next day.

Broken Heart

My heart is broken, torn in two
it lays in pieces, and there is nothing that i can do.
i didnt know what i got into
when i played this game for two
i am such a stupid fool
for believing it too.....

Now i sit here
knowing what was done
and what I did
and those stupid things i cant unlive
but its too late to change it
i just can not erase it
i can just pick up the pieces
and use some glue
and try to unlove you.....

I know that it will be hard,
no one said that it was easy,
but its the right thing, that i have to do
i still cant believe that i was such a fool
for opening up to you
but now i know that i cant love you
i know that you might not understand
but it is something that i just can not man
i did something stupid
and now i have to move on
like it was never there
just a vague memory
that floats upon the air.....

I loved you
my heart broken, torn into
there is nothing else, that you or I can do
all I have left is to unlove you.....