Memories of Dad and Me.

For Christmas this year all of us kids and grand kids had to write a letter with our favorite memories of my dad down to put as part of his gift. It wasnt the easiest thing to do let me tell you that. The fact that there were only very few memories of fun times with my dad, and they where sparse and i could only recall very little about them. Most of these i wrote about were from vague memories, stories, and pictures that i heard about.

"I remember the most about the time that Dad would take me riding in his cop car, and when he light me flip the lights and siren on. And we would spend the day at the post catching bad guys." (This is from everyone at work knowing me from such a young age and me always riding in the cop car around to places, i would always get car sick in that car)

"Even stopping at the old Dunkin Donuts to pick out our favorite ones, I always got one with sprinkles" (I do remember a few times going to get donuts, yes bring on the cop and donut jokes, but he never had coffee so only half a sterotype. But i only remember looking at all of the donuts and sitting in the booth kicking my legs back and forth, yes there was a time when i couldnt touch the ground)

"Above is one of my favorite pictures of Dad and Me, I like always I am trying to be soooooo serious, but dad just had to go and be a goof and try to make it a funny picture" (this is one of the few pictures of my dad and me, and the only one where he is smiling and having fun, to be honest i dont remember this picture at all, but i do remember the sit and spin i got for xmas that year. me and my cousins would pile all on it and spin around till we fell off)

"And then the times when Dad was extremely proud of me, such as the day of my first big concert with the Jazz Band, I had one of the biggest solos during our big jazz number which included a professional jazz saxophone player. And the day I was able to show him my first year work from the college of architecture." (These moments i really do remember, and both of these times it was very strange to hear good job from him, the fact that i have never really heard that before might have been why. But it was one of those moments in which i could think of him as my dad)

"Even the times playing countless rounds of putt-putt. Yes Dad you may have won most of them, but I still claim that I won at LEAST one of those rounds." (These were one of the few ways that we found we could bond, to a point at least, we had some fun even tho it was still who could win in the end)


Well that's the letter, and prob what it should have in it, but it was streamlined for the gift, its true that he was not around much when i was growing up. He was off to work before i work up, and then maybe home for dinner if we were lucky, and then either back out to work an accident or off to bed to wake up early and start all over again. He wrote me a letter way back explaining that he thought that he could be a good father if he could only provide for his family, but now looking back he is able to see that he missed out on being there when i was growing up, and that was one of his biggest mistakes. Due to that, he and i have a strained relationship of not talking too much and just leaving each other be. Part of me is ok with this since i would not sure how i would cope with sure a drastic change, while the other part of me is wondering what i may have been missing out on.