I knew that my parents werent over this whole me being gay thing. My mom freaks out, and thinks that im going to gay clubs, getting drunk every night, doing drugs, and sleeping with all the guys at the club. None of which i do. Even tho i did promise to go with one of my straight friends to a gay club. But the main reason is cause she thinks i am going to slip into a depression again. Well true that it kinda sucks feeling alone, but i have so many other things going on that depression is one of the last things on my mind.
And as for my dad, i feel like i..... well i dont know. i guess i am a little depressed about that. But i talked to Joe, councilor/mentor, about it. and i have found out that i do need to do something about it, otherwise it will only hurt me down the road. So i have to, either cut him outta my life, change my dad from a father figure to a peer, or try to get him to be a father. Well im not sure if i want him outta my life right now, and if i try to have him as a peer, there is nothing there in him that i see in my peers, so he would be cut outta my life like that. So talking to him seems to be my best bet but i dont know how to do it. I dont want to make things worse. And i really dont know him well enough to be able to tell how he would react or what he would do. And yes i know "sometimes you have to take big risks to get big results" but i dont want to destroy my one and only chance i have at changing my relationship with my dad.
These are deff things that have been weighing very heavy on my mind the past few days. something that i will have to think about for a while i think.
1 comment:
I wish that you would talk to me about some of this stuff. I can't relate exactly and won't pretend to, but I have some family issues that I don't like just anyone to bear witness to.
This is definitely something that we will talk about next time I talk to you. I should have checked your blog earlier, my bad man.
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