Its a blah day, just been a bit in a bit of a slump for a few days now, not sure why, just feeling blah and need a nice reset button.
Parts of me just needs someone to bounce ideas off of, and i feel like i dont have as many as close friends that i use to once have. Kinda feel like that is my fault since i didnt spend enough time with some people.
And part of me would like to have another relationship, just so i have someone to sleep next to at night, part of me feels quite lonely.
I mean the cat and mouse games are nice, but i need a cute guy just to date and just lay next to me. Thats all im looking for it that too much to ask for? Some close friends here and there, and a nice guy to talk to.
Gah, stupid weather this time of year it just gets under my skin.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Back to school and excited about it?
Yes, you heard right im back at school and im excited about it. This means no more family and stress caused by that. Means me working on being independent so i can stand on my own two feet at the end of this school year. I just really need to be working towards being able to support myself and be ok with it. And part of that includeds some changes with life.
Finishing up school with focusing on the future of a job somewhere i would like to be and expand my learning. With this i have to take a close look at my job and ask is this something that i will learn a lot from within the next 6 months. And part of me thinks not really too much. It might give me a bit more of the leadership qualities that would be nice, but at the moment there are quite a few 'Chiefs' and not enough 'Indians' so with them trying to teach everyone leadership, it is hard to do when so few are willing to listen. And i feel like a good leader knows when to talk and when to listen, to quote an elementary teacher of mine. "we have twice as many ears as we do mouths for a reason, we should listen twice as much as we talk". I feel like many people forget this, and will lead by talking the person to death until they end up with 'their' way all the time. I feel like the end is very near of this job and if i would have picked this up during my freshman year their would be a lot of things i could have done with the program. So my focus will change over the course of the time being.
This semester should be good and hard all at the same time, with two trips planned for the semester which will be a bit pricey but so far i have that worked out quite well. As for classes, a nice schld set up with good free time so i can work and make some money on the side, as well as pick up an internship to further my skills. I have some pretty good classes, only one that im srly worried about, since im retaking it for the 3rd time. Sadly Polsc is just not my strong point at all. But the rest of school seems to be going well. And i know that people should be happy and excited to graduate, but im really kinda scared, even tho part of me is very excited about the real world.
Finishing up school with focusing on the future of a job somewhere i would like to be and expand my learning. With this i have to take a close look at my job and ask is this something that i will learn a lot from within the next 6 months. And part of me thinks not really too much. It might give me a bit more of the leadership qualities that would be nice, but at the moment there are quite a few 'Chiefs' and not enough 'Indians' so with them trying to teach everyone leadership, it is hard to do when so few are willing to listen. And i feel like a good leader knows when to talk and when to listen, to quote an elementary teacher of mine. "we have twice as many ears as we do mouths for a reason, we should listen twice as much as we talk". I feel like many people forget this, and will lead by talking the person to death until they end up with 'their' way all the time. I feel like the end is very near of this job and if i would have picked this up during my freshman year their would be a lot of things i could have done with the program. So my focus will change over the course of the time being.
This semester should be good and hard all at the same time, with two trips planned for the semester which will be a bit pricey but so far i have that worked out quite well. As for classes, a nice schld set up with good free time so i can work and make some money on the side, as well as pick up an internship to further my skills. I have some pretty good classes, only one that im srly worried about, since im retaking it for the 3rd time. Sadly Polsc is just not my strong point at all. But the rest of school seems to be going well. And i know that people should be happy and excited to graduate, but im really kinda scared, even tho part of me is very excited about the real world.
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